On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
