If i come over, it means nothing
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
