I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
