we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
