my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
