Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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