yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
