I want to have your abortion
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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