Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
