Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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