i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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