I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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