ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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