the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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