Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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