If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
