I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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