Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
