I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
