so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
