even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
