I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
