How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
