I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
