Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Two words: nipple clamps
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