If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
