i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
