I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
