his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
