farters have to be the big spoon...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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