In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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