So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
