these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
