If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
