sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
