Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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