Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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