Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
