take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
