tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
being pregnant is like rehab
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm sobbing to NWA
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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