if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
