just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
