Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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