why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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