just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
