Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Two words: nipple clamps
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