Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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