I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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