I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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