My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
