no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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